“One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.”
Sometimes, I feel like a flightless bird. Or better yet, a bird with clipped wings. How sad the bird that knows that it has been created for heights it has never seen. A bird that is grounded, living with a longing so deep it hurts. I often feel just like that bird.
I have entertained insanely bold desires and dreams, dreams that I have become so passionate about that I cannot imagine doing anything else in my life besides fulfilling them to God’s glory. Yet, many days, I feel like my wings have been clipped so that I will never make it off the ground. I often feel like I will never achieve the dreams I have been dreaming since I was a youth. I feel like these things are so much bigger than I will ever be. I feel like I cannot in reality become the woman I feel in my heart I am destined to be.
The truth is, I cannot consent to creep, because I feel the impulse to soar. Creeping is not within me. There is a warrior in me. A woman with the heart of a Godly revolution. I want to fight! I want to advance the Kingdom of God and do major damage to the satanic realm. Why, then, am I feeling so bound up? Why am I not able to live in this passion and to rock the world for Christ like I feel is my destiny to do?
I have asked this question of God, and this is what I feel like He has said to me:
Sometimes, it is necessary to clip a bird’s wings. Sometimes, the bird needs to heal. Sometimes, the bird needs to grow more before it attempts flight. Sometimes, the bird needs nourishment. Sometimes, the bird needs training. Sometimes, the bird has to learn to be dependent.
This, again, is a moment of submission. I look up into the sky and know I belong there, soaring above where I am right now. But for whatever reason, my wings have been clipped. Maybe for all these reasons. I guess I simply have to say, “Not my will, but thine,” and allow God to heal, restore, grow, nourish, and train me. Surely, by the time He is done, my feathers will have grown back because, Thank God, clipped wings are a temporary thing.