Jealousy in Marriage

Published July 8, 2013 by Dawn

Jealousy in a relationship is pretty normal. It’s a biproduct of love, I think. You just can’t help but to jealously hold on to the one you love. Song of Solomon 8:6 says that love is as strong as death, and its jealousies as strong as the grave. That’s pretty intense. The Bible even tells us that God is jealous for us (Exodus 20:5, 34:14; Deuteronomy 4:24; Psalm 78:58; 1 Corinthians 10:22). Obviously, the Lord is intensely in love with us. His jealousies are confirmation of His great love for us, and His unwillingness to allow anything to tear us away from Him.

Jealousy obviously can be a good thing. But, like any emotion, it can be manipulated to the degree of becoming sin. For instance, there seems to be a lot of jealousy in ministry. I think we all tend to fall into that trap sooner or later, of desiring the gifts and talents of another because our “calling” doesn’t seem to be as glamorous. Especially in times of intense battle with the enemy, we wonder what exactly we are fighting for, and why so-and-so isn’t fighting nearly as hard for their blessings. Ah, I have been so guilty of this. I have had moments of intense jealousy as I see God lavish on someone who doesn’t, by my judgment, appear to deserve His attention nearly as much as I do. “I have fought mercilessly, Lord, and you have left me here in the battle and are handing out favors to those who are not even fighting! What is your problem?” Yes, I’ve said that to Him before. I’ve played the god in my own life and in my pride, questioned the Father’s will and blessing in another’s life. I am so guilty.

What shocked me about my own tendencies to be jealous was how intense my feelings are sometimes, and how wrong I am in them. I recognized it only when contrasted to the events of today. While worshipping the Lord in service, the praise and adoration of others just made me overflow with joy for Him. As others lavished their attention and affection on my Husband, I became overwhelmed with adoration for Him. For the first time in my life, I was so secure in His love that I adored Him all the more for receiving the love of others. I knew that their attention to Him would not draw His attention away from me, and that if He lavished on them, it was simply because of His goodness. I have come to realize that He doesn’t love me any less or any more than anyone else, but He loves us all so mightily that could we know the extent of His love, we’d hardly know what to do with ourselves. We’d be lost in His affections toward us. I can’t earn His love, and neither can anyone else. This makes my Husband all the more amazing. He’s such a giver, such a lover. Such a wonderful, graceful God. And today, I am no longer afraid of losing the approval and admiration of my Husband. He’s big enough to lavish on all of us in such a way that we are all fulfilled and lacking nothing. How incredibly great is our God!

Dear Lord,
Thank you for allowing me to know your jealous love for me, and thank you that you love all that you have made with an equal intensity. Father, I pray that people would begin to know the depth of your love for us.

Thank you, Lord, for convicting me of my wrong thinking and wrong emotions. Your timing is perfect and who I am to question you or your works? Thank you for all that you have blessed me in and for the many blessings you have stored up to lavish on me. Lord, I pray that you will continue to woo the works of your hands, your people, back to your bosom. We belong with you, and you are all we will ever need in this life. Allow us to know you intimately and to seek you fervently. Show us more and more our need for you, our emptiness without you. Glorify your name in all the earth, for you are worthy to be praised! In Jesus’ name, amen.

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One comment on “Jealousy in Marriage

  • Dawn, how right you are in your perspective on jealousy. I have felt this way a time or two. But I too have come to realize that God has more than enough love and blessings to go around. Even more than that, I am blessed by seeing Him work in the lives of others and how he blesses them. His love just keeps growing even though I feel unworthy and unlovable at times. I have come to realize that my trials have a purpose. Sometimes I even remember to thank Him for the difficult lesson’s learned.,

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