“What’s wrong with me?” Surely, if consider yourself “still single,” you’ve wondered this a few times. You happen to notice other couples (let’s face it … some days, it’s ALL couples) and you can’t help but catch their body lingo – her smile, the look in his eye, their hands, all pointing to a happy you dream about but haven’t had in like, forever.
Oh, don’t get me wrong. Being single is a ministry of it’s own. It’s just you and Jesus in those quieter moments, a deep sense of comfort and companionship radiating from your communion and worship with Him. But then, as the world turns, you notice there is a colder side. A side that feels, well, lonely. A side in which you wonder what is keeping Him while you wait. And you look to Heaven and ask, “What is wrong with me?”
And maybe in these times, you also feel a fresh twinge of rejection, a frustration at His silence. An anger at His seeming betrayal when you need Him most. But … have you ever just listened for His reply? Like Habakkuk, have you stationed yourself on the ramparts to see what He would say to your complaints? Perhaps He would say to you what I have heard Him say myself, “You, beloved, are hidden. (Psalm 91:1)”
Don’t rush on from that. Linger in His reply. You are hidden. No doubt you are like I was when I first heard this; Holding in a very sarcastic “Really?” Keep silent, there’s more…
“You are my most treasured possession … I love you. (Deuteronomy 7:6, Zechariah 2:8)” Hold it right there. Did you catch that? Does it even resonate in you? Can you just take that in word by word and meditate on who you are to Him? His most treasured possession. You are hidden because you are His most treasured possession. Would a loving God flaunt you? Would He who calls you the apple of His eye let just anyone near you? I can’t even imagine He would. After all, you mean something to Him. A great something. He places a high value in you. You are too precious for Him to leave you unguarded. You are hidden because to Him, you are priceless. He ransomed you with His life and when you asked Him to hold your heart, He took you seriously. It’s a big deal to Him.
And while you may be hidden to the world, you are very much noticed by Him. Did we say earlier something along the lines of “just you and Jesus?” What happened in you when you read that? I was very condemned by my heart attitude, to be honest. Just Jesus? Come on! We are talking about the Son of God! As a single person, you have the opportunity of a lifetime, according to 1 Corinthians 7:32-34! All that time you sit wistfully thinking of someone else, He’s wooing you. He wants your attention. He desires your affection. No one else even notices you, yet He sits patiently looking at you waiting for your eyes to meet His. Your smile makes His heart soar. Your affection is what He longs for. This ministry is wonderful, because although we see service to God as doing, He originally intended for us to simply be. To be with Him and to worship Him (Colossians 1:16, John 4:23-23). This life, hidden in Christ, is a time of devotion to Him. The work He calls you to is a ministry that flows naturally from your union with Him. If you are pushing and straining to do something for the kingdom, you are not working with Him, but against Him.
And let’s talk about those feelings for a sec … I’ll just be straight up with you: feelings are deceiving. Satan can manipulate your feelings. Think about it: how many times have you avoided something for a really long time because you dreaded it, then eventually, when you were confronted with it, you found it to be way more enjoyable than you originally thought? Or at the least, bearable when you considered it to be awful? How many times have you found joy in something you hesitated to do? Satan will steal anything from you that you let him, and we sure do give him a lot just based on our feelings. I’ve lost hours of fun playing with my kids because I didn’t feel like going outside. I’ve missed out on pleasant conversation and the opportunity to make new friends and deepen older friendships because I didn’t feel like being around people. This list is endless: in short, I’ve been driven by my feelings and robbed blind in the process. Feelings are deceptive, and a great tool for the enemy if we aren’t careful. Especially those feelings that cause you to wallow in misery. Feelings of loneliness, rejection, depression, frustration, anger, bitterness. I’m not deluded; I know we can’t avoid these feelings. But you know what we can do? Take our thoughts into captivity, exercise a little self-control, look at Jesus and be liberated (2 Corinthians 10:5, Galatians 5:22-23). Be refreshed and renewed in Him. Bask in His love for us. And if He’s silent, we can appreciate His promise to never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). We can draw near to Him knowing that we are simply irresistible: He said He’d draw near to us, and He cannot lie (James 4:8, Hebrews 6:18). We can pursue Him and know that eventually, we will catch His special attention. While your feelings may vacillate, His love will not (Hebrews 13:8). Neither will His nature. And He’s Jesus! The lover of our souls!
And one more thing … don’t sweat the people who walk away. Remember, love, you are hidden in the secret place. Those who don’t recognize your worth simply cannot see you. Your Father has called you His treasure. He’s saving you for someone who will recognize your value and not treat you lightly. He would not part with you for less, unless you willfully choose less. If you trust Him enough to allow Him to hold your heart, you will not be disappointed with what He does. Until He approves and unveils you, stay hidden.