A Loveless Marriage

Published March 19, 2014 by Dawn

When we first met, He swept me off my feet and I fell hard. Right into His strong arms. He was all I’d ever wanted. I took Him in in every possible way, allowing Him to consume me as well, and we were one. The love of my life.

As time  went on, though, I lost sight of the simplicity of our love. The acceptance that used to come so easily now became a battle between the two of us. All my insecurities created an atmosphere of hostility and familiarity bred it’s own contempt until finally, I woke up to the face of a loveless marriage. Bitterness, distrust, and disillusionment replaced every trace of our all-consuming fire. I don’t want to be here anymore.

I don’t want to be here, in this place where I look at the One I used to love and feel next to nothing. I remember passion and fire between us. Now it’s just cold. It’s not Him, it’s me. But I can’t help how I feel … right?

No. No, that’s not right. There was something there before. Something real, something fierce. And if I remember nothing else, I remember this: it was the best thing to ever happen in my life. I was happy, and whole. I was full. I was satisfied. It was amazing. He was amazing.

Dear Lover,

Whatever gap is between us, let’s overcome it. Love covers over. Love covers over. Let’s talk again. Let’s reveal ourselves. Let’s be vulnerable and real. Let’s walk together and share our hearts with one another. Let’s laugh together again. Let’s touch. Let’s look at each other again, and blow on the embers between us. Let’s start a fire together. Let’s let passion burn again, molding us together again. Be with me. I want you. I need you. You are my everything, Jesus. Be with me.

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