Unrequited Love

Published September 21, 2014 by Dawn

I’m in love with him. I’m not admitting anything he doesn’t already know. He knows. I don’t know what it means to him, but for now, it’s not been reciprocated. My Father is holding my heart well in this. But yesterday, something shattered my peace and fortitude: he told me he’d been diagnosed with cancer. Oh dear God, help me.

I’m not afraid for his life. I believe God has plans for him. Cancer can’t have him. I know he’ll make it through. But I am in anguish over the battle to come. Cancer is an unforgiving foe, relentless and cruel. I’ve watched the enemy beat him up for years in many different ways, but I feel like the battle just intensified quite drastically, and all the sudden, I wish I could do something besides pray!

Don’t get me wrong, I know prayer is the most powerful thing we can do for each other. But I’m thinking of things more practical. After all, who will be with him in the season ahead? Who will comfort him with good food and reasons to laugh when he needs it most? Who will encourage him when he feels weak? Who will hold his hand and cry with him? Who will kiss his tears and hold him when he’s feeling fragile? Who will be strong for him? Who will take care of him, take care of his house and his needs? I’m sure there are others who can and will, but something is awakening in me that so desperately desires to be that person in this season of his life.

I took all this to the foot of the cross yesterday. I poured out my anguish before the Lord, trying to be released from the burden of these questions and I said, “Lord, help me! I’m in love with someone who needs me, but doesn’t want me.” And Jesus came, wrapped His arms around me and said, “Me too.”

 

Advertisements

One comment on “Unrequited Love

  • Dawn, this is so beautiful. When I read you’re writing I feel it in my heart, very deeply in my heart.

    I’m struggling too, but instead of reaching out to help others, I recoil. I feel so overwhelmed. I tell people that I won’t give them money but I will pray with them and for them. It’s just that I feel like giving money is like giving fish instead of teaching someone to fish. Sometimes we are so quick to ask others for what we want/need that we haven’t even considered what the father can do for us. He can do so much more than we can do for ourselves or even what others can do for us. And if we do too much for someone, they don’t turn to God or seek Him. Perhaps we take away their reason to seek Him. If they seek God, they will find Him and He is all they really need.

    There have been people who have helped me along the way. Some helped a little too much and that wasn’t good either. The ones who have helped me the most were those who knew God and lifted me up in prayer and guided me in prayer. The ones who saw His blessings.

    I pray your friend has opened his eyes and his heart to the blessings around him. I pray that God gives you both vision, healing, willingness, satisfaction, and gratitude. I ask this in Jesus’ wonderful name as our living redeemer and king. AMEN!
    Love you…

  • Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s

    %d bloggers like this: