You have always wanted me? From before I was born, you have loved me? You knew me in the womb and before I was born, you had named me and made plans for me? How is it that the magnitude of that never blew my mind until now? No one has ever wanted me. I’ve spent my entire life feeling alone, rejected and invisible. But you have always been the God who sees me. I matter to you. You care about me and for me. You love me. You love me because … why do you love me? I fail. I’m imperfect. I’m judgmental and cruel and sometimes I have hate in my heart. I’m not a good witness for you. I am a hypocrite. My heart continually yearns for someone to physically be here; real flesh and blood to love me imperfectly and way less than you do. My whore heart would trade your love for imperfection in a heartbeat. I can’t even love myself after knowing that. HOW DO YOU LOVE ME?! How do you, how can you accept this?
Because I chose to.