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All posts for the month August, 2015

Deny the Feels

Published August 27, 2015 by Dawn

I didn’t have a lesson for teens until after school yesterday. I was praying about what to teach them, and the Lord said, “Deny the Feels.” The feels being our emotions. One of my teens used that word a month ago, and it just keeps circulating.

I had a visual of the new movie Inside Out, where the feels control a little girl’s life. Literally. They have a switchboard that they use to manipulate her actions and reaction, the things she says, etc. I don’t care for the lesson that movie teaches because the message is that we are subject to our emotions and we have no control over them. This is not true!

Well, not if you are walking in the Spirit. Yesterday, I was not.

I got home and my son was really emotional… and so was I. I asked him to mow a portion of the yard for his chore and he threw a fit that enraged me. So we were at each others’ throats all afternoon. And he said really mean hurtful things. And so did I. And about an hour before church it dawned on me that that was the crux of my lesson: deny the feels. Respond to life like Jesus, not like an emotional hag.

God had taken my mind back to the crucifixion on my way home from work, and had shown me the depth of Jesus’ sufferings. While his flesh went through hell, his mind and heart were placid despite his circumstance. He was in excruciating, unimaginable pain, but still spoke blessings instead of curses. He set a standard I cannot attain. But the Holy Spirit can.

“If we walk in the Spirit, as He is in the Spirit, we will not fulfill the desires of the flesh.”

Gal. 5:16

Holy Spirit, walk with me. I need you desperately.

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Jesus said unto them, “Shut up.”

Published August 22, 2015 by Dawn

“Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.” – Matt. 24:12

There’s enough going on in the news today to properly frighten anyone. Rampant riots and vandalism here in my own backyard, people actively seeking out cops to kill. Gunmen entering movie theaters and churches like they’re hunting for sitting ducks. Parades and protests where people are joyfully throwing anything, from bricks to excrement, at others. Kids being gunned down in their homes or stolen and sold into sex slavery. Babies being ripped apart and their pieces sold to the highest bidder. Parents killing their own children, and children killing their own parents. Religions slaughtering religions. I think it’s enough to terrify anyone. And … harden anyone.

Please don’t get me wrong: I believe in clarion calls. I believe in men and women of God sounding the alarm about social injustice and religious persecution. But the Holy Spirit led me to a thought tonight that gave me chills. This verse is about the church.

I didn’t want to believe it. After all, this is the time to shine. This hour of great darkness is the moment of great impact for the church. Only we don’t know how to handle it, and we’re doing it in our own strength and failing miserably. The very people we should be reaching are the ones we are alienating. You’re probably already mad at me, but I hope you keep reading. I’m not trying to make you upset, but I have to tell you what’s on my heart.

Jesus said, “I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” But many of us are not speaking the truth in love, we are just speaking the truth … and turning sinners away because they didn’t come to Jesus clean. The church has become so high-brow we no longer reach the lowly and destitute. The wickedness in the world, the tremendous influx of Satanic activity has frightened us and caused us to lash out in anger instead of reach out in love. We believe the Word and we want others to believe, but we don’t know how to love them AND teach it because we’re freaking out instead of being still.

Too much study and not enough prayer had produced men and women who know the Word inside and out but have not spent time in the presence of God to know His heart. Is it impressive to know a lot of scripture? Maybe to some people, but it certainly does not impress God. Because Satan knows the scriptures better than any of us and has crafted so many false doctrines with it that all of us should be frightened. “Even the very elect can be deceived.”

Prayer is the only safe measure for the child of God because it guarantees we will know His voice and have discernment. Knowing the Bible without knowing God makes for a very self-righteous person who measures up in their own eyes, and hates the world for not being right. I know this is true just by reading a lot of “Christian” posts on facebook. If sin doesn’t break your heart, you are most likely hardened. If speaking about unborn babies being brutally murdered in the womb doesn’t break your heart, you are stone. I’m not talking about how well you stand on your high horse about it. I am talking about how you minister in this.

I was praying this evening and the Lord said to me, “Please pray for the women who have had abortions in this time.” And then he revealed to me the deep pain of the women who have had abortion procedures out of desperation and are now finding out about the lies they were told and the vicious circumstances surrounding the death of their unborn child. Many women have undergone abortions in desperation, not apathy. And they struggle with it. And now they are hearing stories of babies born live and killed afterward. And they are seeing the videos with baby limbs and organs spread out in a petri tray. Their hearts! Oh dear Lord, their hearts! If the church gets on a high horse and forgets the lowly, we have done nothing fruitful for the kingdom of God. Because God wants all people to come to a saving knowledge of Christ and repentance. And if we are giving them a Gospel that makes them grovel in anguish and hide in shame, we are not bringing them nearer to the foot of the cross.

I think many of us would do well to go back there, actually. Go back to the place where your soul was set free. Sit at the bleeding feet of Jesus. Listen to His agonized breathes for you. For me. For us all. His love is so deep, He endured so much and we should be telling people. Sure, talk about sin if that’s how the Spirit leads you. But otherwise, talk about Jesus. Talk about repentance. Forgiveness. Santification. Cleanliness. Holiness.

Here’s the litmus test: Put your Gospel in the mouth of Christ at the scene in John 4. Let Jesus share the things you are preaching to the woman at the well. If your Gospel changes His attitude or His heart and message toward her, you are doing something wrong. Go back to the cross.

Dear friend, if I still have your attention, let me tell you something. I was sitting her a few months back and the Holy Spirit spoke this: And Jesus said unto them, “Shut up.”  I was shocked. But I continued to be still and listen and the Spirit continued: “So many people are speaking knowledge. Head knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.” Knowledge makes us feel like somebody, but it fills us with pride. Love doesn’t lord over people, it builds them up. Therefore, love is effective on a level that knowledge is not. I’m not saying water down the truth. I love the truth. I’m simply stating that truth without love is brutal. It’s rape to the heart. The people we minister to in this way are victims because they aren’t asking for our brutality and they aren’t enjoying it.

The Word of God brings conviction when properly spoken, through the Spirit. The Word without the Spirit brings condemnation. Do not forget that “it is the kindness of God that leads men to repentance.” Don’t believe me? Go walk with Jesus a while. The only people he was stern with were the religious.

“Hate the sin and love the sinner” you will say at this point. But check yourself: are you really hating the sin and loving the sinner? Or are you hating both and loving the way that pride is making you feel? Please church, let’s go back together. Let’s go back to the feet of our agonizing Lord. Look at Him. He did this for everyone that will believe! Stay there until God removes your heart of stone and gives you a heart of flesh. Because this is our time to shine! This is the time for revival! This is the time for the Gospel to spread like wildfire because it is dry out there! Please go back!

Break our hearts, Lord.

The Season of Singing

Published August 19, 2015 by Dawn

“A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.” –John 16:21

 

How long had it been since the first word was planted? The first inkling of what God was going to do in and through you? How many months of wondering what it would look like and when you would start to see doors open? How long have you been hoping against hope? Or pushing hope down into the dark recesses of your soul because you were weary of it? How long ago did God first make you pregnant with a vision?

It seemed like an eternity for me. God spoke such amazing things, and I felt them come alive in me. I felt myself come alive with the very words He spoke. Yes, God! This is what you made me for! I thrust all stability in the eyes of the world away and clung to Him. Take me there to the place where you are, God!

There were times I saw His hand unmistakably at work in me or my circumstances. Times I knew He was for me and not against me. But there were also times I wondered at His methods, wondered about His goodness. Wondered about His timing. There were nights I cried until I was sick, prayed until there was literally nothing else to say. Then I stopped praying because I was overwhelmed with my own turmoil. I fought against hope, choosing to crush it rather than embrace it. Despising the very mention of His promises because I was literally sick of hearing. Hope deferred had done a number on me.

Then, August 17, 2014, God spoke to me through Song of Solomon 2:12 and said very plainly, “the season of singing has come.” Did I dare believe it? Could my hope live again? Yes! Hope is so resilient. I dared believe. Then came the worst time of travailing I have ever known. The pain and agony, the numbness, the apathy, the bitterness, the fierceness in my heart … I can’t explain it more, because there aren’t words to describe the pain of the following days, weeks and months. I was tortured in my thoughts, in such distress in my heart. I struggled in every possible way, and wondered time and again how God was still using me in this time of utter desperation. But during this time, I finished a book and saw doors opened that were never open to me before. Ministry sprung up in areas so dry and unfruitful before. And I underwent a spiritual development I would not have known in a less trying time. God birthed things in my life during one of the hardest seasons I’ve ever endured. It was not the season of singing. It was the season of travailing.

However, the season of singing has come. God has birthed something in my life, and although even afterward, I went through some major depression, I am singing today. I am singing because I have seen God fulfill His promise. I have seen Him prove Himself faithful. I have seen Him open doors no man could open. I have seen Him put me right where He said He would put me. And I look at the rest of the things God spoke to me that haven’t come yet, and I am filled with fresh, passionate hope because of the things He has done.

Listen to me, you. Listen to me, because I know your eyes are full of tears and your heart is full of anger because you are struggling to believe. You are struggling to hold on. You are ready to throw in the towel and go at it on your own. Now is the time to press in! Now is the time to persevere. Right now is the testing of your faith that will produce. You are being refined and God will not fail you. Stay the course! Be obedient! Hope on! Our God is good! Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Believe in the darkness, because this too shall pass. You will come into those things God spoke to you. Just trust Him. Do not waver in your faith. God will bring it to fruition. He is faithful.

Morning is coming, but also the night …

Published August 4, 2015 by Dawn

I slept through most of the day yesterday. Not so much the night before, which was the problem. I can’t seem to sleep normal … and that is usually what happens to teachers during the summer. We think, “I’m gonna just sleep in a few days. Then I’ll get back on track and be disciplined.” But that never happens. Add to it the fact that I can’t seem to sleep unless my kids are home and safely tucked into bed, and they weren’t home … Yes, insomnia, let’s snuggle, shall we? But then, I guess it’s not insomnia when you sleep until mid-afternoon the next day …

Anyway, enough of my sleep issues. Let’s talk about my heart … Specifically, what’s on my heart. This verse in Isaiah has been stirring in my heart for over a week now and I just can’t seem to shake it:

“Watchman, what is left of the night? Watchman, what is left of the night?” The watchman replies, “Morning is coming, but also the night. (Isaiah 21:12)”

I honestly love being awake before the sunrise. I love getting up and watching morning shake off the bondage of the night and burst forth with such radiant glory. It’s absolutely breathtaking. And a daily prophetic reminder of the morning that is indeed coming. You know, the morning we all long for:

“Listen, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed – in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable and we will be changed. (1 Corinthians 15: 51-52)”

“For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command and the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. (1 Thessalonians 4:15-17)”

Of course, we have no idea when or what time of day this will be. I love to imagine Jesus breaks forth with the morning sun, but the Bible tells us that:

“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. (Mark 13:32)

The second part of that verse in Isaiah, though, fills me with dread. The watchman says that morning is coming, but he also mentions the night. Both coming at the same time. And this verse always reminds me of that scripture in John where Jesus talks about a night that is coming in which no man may work:

“As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. (John 9:4)”

Does that scare anyone else just a little? I mean, how often to do men and women of God prophesy that we are living in the end times? That night that is quickly approaching, when no man may work. Jesus tells us to work now!

Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come. It’s like a man going away; He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with their assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch … If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. (Mark 13:33-34, 36)”

How many of us are sleeping through the day? How many of us are putting off the work because we are waiting for the storms to come? How many of us are waiting for something to make us so uncomfortable we run to our Word and fill up instead of filling up now in preparation? We talk about how the church will be driven underground like it is in other nations, but we aren’t preparing ourselves to have church in that place. We are resisting the Holy Spirit’s attempts to prepare us. We are putting it off in favor of temporary distractions. Distractions that are slowly putting our spirits to sleep so that we do not discern the times properly or listen to the unction of the Holy Spirit. I’m not pointing fingers because I have slept through so much of the day, but please, church! It’s time to wake up.

“You are children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. (1 Thessalonians 5:5-6)”

Awake and sober. Fully aware. Of both the devil and the Holy Spirit. Because even though morning is coming for the church, that day will bring incredible darkness for the rest of the earth:

“Wail, for the day of the Lord is near; it will come like destruction from the Almighty. Because of this all hands will go limp, every heart will melt with fear. Terror will seize them; they will writhe like a woman in labor. They will look aghast at each other, their faces aflame. See, the day of the Lord is coming – a cruel day, with wrath and fierce anger – to make the land desolate and destroy the sinners within it. The stars of heaven and their constellations will not show their light. The rising sun will be darkened and the moon will not give its light. I will punish the world for its evil, the wicked for their sins. I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty and will humble the pride of the ruthless … I will make the heavens tremble and the earth will shake from its place at the wrath of the Lord Almighty, in the day of his burning anger. (Isaiah 13:6-13)”

“The great day of the Lord is  near – near and coming quickly. The cry on the day of the Lord is bitter; the Mighty Warrior shouts his battle cry. That day will be a day of wrath – a day of distress and anguish, a day of trouble and ruin, a day of darkness and gloom, a day of clouds and blackness – a day of trumpet and battle cry … I will bring such distress on all people that they will grope about like those who are blind, because they have sinned against the Lord … In the fire of his jealousy, the whole earth will be consumed, for he will make a sudden end of all who live on the earth. (Zephaniah 1:14-16, 18)”

“Let all who live in the land tremble, for the day of the Lord is coming. It is close at hand – a day of darkness and gloom, a day of clouds and blackness. Like dawn spreading across the mountains a large and mighty army comes, such as never was in ancient times nor ever will be in ages to come. Before them fire devours, behind them a flames blazes. Before them the land is like the Garden of Eden, behind them, a desert waste – nothing escapes them … Before them the earth shakes and the heavens tremble, the sun and the moon are darkened and the stars no longer shine. The Lord thunders at the head of his army; his forces are beyond number, and mighty is the army that obeys his command. The day of the Lord is great; it is dreadful. Who can endure it? (Joel 2:1-3, 10-11)”

Do we even perceive the depth of despair coming to the earth? Do we get the anguish and dread that will fill the people left behind?

“The sun will be darkened and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken. Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the people of the earth will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other. (Matthew 25:29-31)”

We rejoice because our Savior is returning to gather us to himself, but what about the rest? So many of us are guilty of shaking our fingers at the thought, with a big fat “I told you so!” jumping out of our mouths, but how dare we? People will suffer so much, and die without Jesus.

“There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near … it will come on all those who live on the face of the whole earth. Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man. (Luke 21:25-28, 35-36)”

We will lift up our heads and rejoice in our redemption, and rightfully so. Come, Lord Jesus, come! But that day will be so terrible, Jesus told us to pray so that we will escape it. Oh my heart hurts for people who do not know Christ because they have no idea what is coming! And those of us who do are guilty. We are guilty of self-righteous smuggery and silence.

“Woe to you who long for the day of the Lord! Why do you long for the day of the Lord? That day will be darkness and not light … Will not the day of the Lord be darkness, not light – pitch dark, without a ray of brightness? (Amos 5:18)”

“Suddenly, in an instant, the Lord Almighty will come with thunder and earthquake, and a great noise, with windstorm and tempest and flames of a devouring fire. (Isaiah 28:6)”

“It will be a unique day – a day known only to the Lord. (Zechariah 14:7)”

Woe is me! I long for Jesus so fiercely, but look at what surrounds his coming! Look at the storm fast approaching! And 2 Peter 3:9 tells us that “[The Lord] is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” We have work to do, Beloved!

“’Be strong, all you people of the land, declares the Lord, ‘and work. For I am with you.’ (Haggai 2:4)”

What does this work look like, you ask? Let me tell ya’ …

“Rend your hearts and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. Who knows? He may turn and relent and leave behind a blessing … (Joel 2:13-14)”

“Seek the Lord, all you humble of the land, you who do what he commands. Seek righteousness, seek humility; perhaps you will be sheltered on the day of the Lord’s anger. (Zephaniah 2:3)”

And once you get there, friend. Into the bosom of your Father. He is going to pour into your heart a love for the lost. Don’t let it grow cold. Fan the flame! Share the Gospel! Share Jesus! For “Who of us can dwell with everlasting fire? Who of us can dwell with everlasting burning? (Isaiah 33:14)”

Wow. That’s uncomfortable, isn’t it? Like a smack in the face right when your spirit was lifting in jubilant agreeance. “Yes, I’m gonna do this thing!” And then I hit you with more uncomfortable truth and I am not apologizing. Here’s why: We all know this stuff. We’re just tired. Numb. Sleeping. Dead. Whatever. We all know that in the end, there are two destinations, there is a right and a left. And we are adamant we will be on the right. And I rejoice in it. You should too. But think of the left:

“As I looked, thrones were set in place and the Ancient of Days took his seat. His clothing was white as snow; the hair of his head was white like wool. This throne was flaming with fire, and its wheels were all ablaze. A river of fire was flowing, coming out from before him. Thousands upon thousands attended him, ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him. The court was seated and the books were opened … In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence. He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all nations and people of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away; and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed. (Daniel 7:9-10, 13-14)”

“Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. The earth and the heavens fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and the books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what they had done. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire. (Revelations 20: 11-15)”

“The Son of Man will send out his angels and they will weed out his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. They will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. (Matthew 13:41-42)”

Look, Beloved. We are all guilty. We don’t want to speak because we might offend someone or they don’t want to hear it. But that’s what makes us Christ-like! Speaking the truth in love. I am not advocating for Bible beating people into the kingdom. I am not talking about shoving the Gospel down people’s throats. I am suggesting this: prayer and fasting. A return to truth, and a complete rejection of error in the church. We are called to be a bride without blemish, and it’s time to clean up! Our husband is coming! He has prepared a banquet and he wants people there. I am suggesting we get before the Lord and surrender to Him. Surrender to His Holy Spirit and get to know His voice. That we are obedient to the calling that tugs daily at our hearts, whatever it may be and stop sitting on the fence. Let’s let God start a fire! He promised that in the last days he would pour out His Spirit, but where are the empty vessels? How will you be filled with His Spirit if you are so full of other junk. Get rid of it, church! Let go of distractions, let go of worldly things, rebuke Satan’s attempts to draw you into temporary loves so that you forsake your First Love. He is knocking at the door! Are you dressed and properly adorned to meet your Husband? Are you being faithful with the talents your Master left you with? Are your lamps trimmed and ready? Don’t sleep through the day, church.

“Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you. (Ephesians 5:14)”

This is the day I tell you I wrote THE BOOK …

Published August 2, 2015 by Dawn

To make a short story, shorter, here’s the gist of a wonderful story in 2 Kings that spoke volumes to me a few weeks ago:

There was a siege laid against Samaria by the kind of Aram. His armies surrounded the city and caused a great famine. All their food supplies dwindled and the people were starving to death! Four lepers decided, “Hey, if we stay here, we’re gonna die. Let’s go out there and surrender to our enemies. If they pardon us, we live. Otherwise, we die anyway.” So they headed over to the enemy’s camp.

Now, God had promised through Elisha a speedy deliverance the day before. And it just so happened that he multiplied the sound of their footsteps so that the Arameans thought that a great army was approaching them. They heard not just the pounding of soldiers’ feet but chariots and horses as well! They were scared to death! They thought the king of Israel had hired the armies of the Hittite and Egyptian nations! So even though night was fast upon them, they fled in terror leaving everything behind!

When the lepers got there, they walked into an abandoned camp. They filled their emaciated bodies with the good food left from the enemy’s retreat, and filled their pockets with the plunder.

Suddenly, one or the other of them said, “Hey, What are we doing? This isn’t right! This is a day of good news and we are keeping it to ourselves!”

I shared all that to share this:

In 2009, I quit my job to write a book. The conversation with God went a little like this:

God: Your time here is over. I have something else for you to do.

Me: WHAT?????

God: (silence)

Me: (panicked silence)

God: You are going to write a book.

Me: I don’t believe you’re even saying this to me. Soul, shut up.

Over the course of that weekend, God confirmed His word to me so I would believe. (He’s so patient.) So the next Monday I put in my letter of resignation amongst the disbelief and doubt of coworkers, friends and family. I was living then in the overflow, so hardly any of it phased me.

Then years went by and I wrote several half-books. You know, books that never quite got finished but were so imperative to my healing process. So necessary for my heart, mind and spirit. Then, last November, God presented the idea to me of writing a fiction. I would never have even considered it before, but it seemed like fun. And writing at this point was no longer fun. I needed to enjoy it again. So I started writing a fiction based on the life of Mary Magdalene. And it was fun. And it incorporated all those years of listening and learning of the Holy Spirit during my healing process. And it ministered to me. And God used the Word He so faithfully sowed into my hungry heart all the years I poured into it. And now it’s ready.

I wasn’t going to tell anyone. I thought, “I am going to be humble and not say anything.” But God began dealing with me again. Because this is a testimony! God is good! God is faithful to keep His promises! This is the day of good news! I don’t want to keep it to myself anymore. So here it is: the link that will take you right to to fruition of God’s promise in my life. It’s a ministry all of it’s own, specifically to women. I hope you find healing and joy in Jesus through the message it brings. Happy reading!

Redemption’s Road by Dawn Herbert

P.S. Please, tell your friends and family. Tell your women’s ministry leaders. Tell your coworkers and any women you know. Because women need to know. Not that I wrote a book, but that Jesus loves them, wants to redeem them and use their past to bring healing to multitudes of hurting women. I want women to know what Jesus thinks of them! I want women to hear the things He spoke to me that brought me out of a deep pit. Share this! Read the book and share it too!

Thank you and God bless!

To Be Known By God

Published August 2, 2015 by Dawn

The other day, I went through the gas station drive-thru to break a twenty. I’m all about parking and getting out, so this was already a rare occasion. We just didn’t have enough time for the usual ceremony of loud choice-making and foolery in the store. So we went through the drive-thru. I asked my kids if they wanted anything to drink, and with their yes and no, proceeded to order a coffee for me and a blue Gatorade for my son. I didn’t take his order. I just ordered. When I turned to him with his Gatorade, his face was covered with shock and awe.
“What?” I asked him, amused.

With such child-like amazement and not a little pride, he said, “You know me! I can’t even believe it. You know me!”

All I did was order the kid a Gatorade.

I’ve thought about this so many times since then. How amazing is it to know that someone knows you? To know that without saying a word, they get you. That your desires are written in their hearts and don’t have to be expressed at all. Because they know you.

I study my kids. I mean, I have ample time and opportunity. I’m a single mom and we don’t have cable. So we spend a lot of time together and we talk and play a lot. I know their likes and dislikes. I know their fears and desires. I know what they want to be when they grow up, their hobbies, favorite books, and favorite drinks. I know what makes them worried, scared, mad, happy, ecstatic. I even know their favorite ways to sleep and their favorite subjects in school. And I love knowing them. I love learning about them. Because I love them.

Psalms 139:1-4 says, “You have searched me Lord and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you, Lord, know it completely.”

I do not wonder for a second with what amazement David penned these words. I saw it reflected in the face of my child when his joyful heart exclaimed to me, “You know me!” Isn’t it wonderful to know that our Heavenly Father is like, well, a father? A loving Father who studies His children and knows every part of them. Their fears and desires. Their joys and concerns. What they want to be when they grow up and what activities give them the most pleasure? Could it be that His blessings, often disguised and seemingly nonsensical, are the best for us without any doubt because our Father knows us? Better than we know ourselves?

I draw strength from this verse as I often wrestle with faith that is not yet sight. I wish I could say I am as believing as Abraham, who did not waver for 25 long years. Sadly, I waver. A lot. But then I remember that He knows me. That He is so familiar with my heart and my mind. That I am completely known by God and whatever He has and whatever timetable He is working in is best. Even when it doesn’t make sense. That His ways are higher and His blessings must be also. That “no eye has seen, no ear has heard, neither has it entered in to the heart of man what the Father has prepared for those who love him and are called according to His purpose.”  I can’t even imagine His goodness! Neither can you!

He knows us, because He loves us tremendously more than we could ever think or imagine!