Do you know what I love about riding the in the car with teenagers? No, this isn’t a rhetorical question … I really do love the fact that they are stuck just a few feet from me. If the ride is long enough, the radio sputters out and dies to all the radio stations we know and love, and frustration kicks it off in a huff. If it’s not long enough, I resort to the buttons on the back of my steering wheel to thoroughly frustrate that kiddo until the radio no longer contends with me. Then, I have their full attention! I mean, of course there’s the cell phone that seems forever stuck to their face, but I can handle that with a smile and a quip about grounding until, viola! I have his or her full attention. With luck, it doesn’t take long for a kiddo to remember how fond he or she used to be of having endless conversations with me and if the grudge doesn’t have a firm grip, we’re usually talking shortly thereafter.
My son was stuck in the car with me for a half an hour yesterday, and the radio knew it’s place so we were engulfed in a very meaningful discussion about teenage things that weigh heavy on his heart. Why can’t he do whatever he wants? Why am I always telling him what to do? Why can’t I just leave him alone? I try to make my kids feel heard, so I didn’t just throw out all the parental clichés, I really dug deep and tried to explain things from my heart, from scripture, and from all the psychology and parenting books I have consumed over the years. He sat next to me and thoughtfully picked through my answers looking for holes and justifying his disagreements with a mixture of childish reasoning and adolescent maturity.
Our conversation ran the gamut of experiences, arguments and emotions. Finally, we arrived at the counselor’s place and he got out of the car steaming. Together, we went inside and for the next hour, I sat in awe while the counselor taught him through very practical means, to reason through those same questions himself until he had arrived at the same conclusion I had offered with my motherly wisdom just a while before. He got in the car after his appointment and said, “Mom, she called you. I know she did. How else would she have known to talk about all that?”
It was easy to exculpate myself. He had started all the conversations on the way down and I hadn’t talked to anyone one the phone in the car! I shook my head and said, “No, son. When God wants to talk to you and you won’t get on your knees before Him, He just uses the people around you.” The best part is that this woman professes to be agnostic, and she was used by the Lord just the same. God is no respecter of person, and when He wants to teach us or guide us in something, He doesn’t have to ask someone to be His vessel. He will move heaven and earth for His children. It was such a powerful reminder to my son that God is aware of his searching heart and is willing to meet him where he is and lead him out of the darkness and confusion. What a wonderful moment to watch his Heavenly Father step in!
I shared this to encourage you. You might be a parent desperately praying that God will get ahold of your kiddo. I am with you! Don’t give in to fear because God is faithful to His promises. I kept reminding the Lord of scriptures He has given me over my children. “God, you told me, ‘I will contend with those who contend with you and your children I will save.’ You said that when we raise them up in the way they should go, when they are old they won’t depart from it. I see him being led away with anger and the enemy’s lies and I’m terrified right now! I’ve told my son that you said you would never leave us or forsake us but he feels abandoned and ignored by you.” I’ve cried countless hours watching my child pull away from me and from his faith. It’s a horrible experience. Don’t give up! Keep praying and pressing in, reminding God of His promises and praising Him for His faithfulness. Remember watching your child’s first steps? Rushing in when he or she seemed a little unstable, your heart in your chest and your hands out ready to catch your precious treasure? This is your child learning to stand on his or her own spiritually. It’s seems like endless waves of anxiety and uncertainty. Your heart finds permanent lodging in your throat. But your Father – your child’s Father – He’s got this.
You might also be that child. That wandering child of God. That scared kiddo wishing the world made sense and that someone would step into the mess and pull you out of it. I wish I could tell you in good faith that God will rescue you, but sometimes He doesn’t. Sometimes, you’re Jonah in the belly of the whale and that fish will spit you out when God’s work is accomplished in it. Sometimes you’re Shadrack, Michek and Abednego (how to spell those names, though …) in the fiery furnace and instead of keeping you from the fire, God is walking with you in it. Sometimes you are Paul, beaten, captive, shipwrecked, snake-bitten and still God keeps you steadfastly on the way to fulfilling all that He has purposed. Don’t turn away from your faith just because it’s small or brittle. Let the Holy Spirit strengthen it as you endure. Lean into God. Learn to hear His heart. Learn to let go of control and depend on Him. Learn to be led. Be comforted. Get real with God and let Him be real with you. It’s the most precious relationship a person can have and it is worth all that hell uses to deter you with. Trust your Father, child. He loves you more than you could ever know.